We are half way through the year. I don't know about you but for me this is a time of reflection. It's the time when I evaluate the progress I've made on my 2014 goals. If I'm honest with myself the results are no bueno. If I were on track by now I would have posted approximately 21 posts.
Not only have I allowed this blog to languish but I've allowed my spanish self-study to dwindle down to nothing. It actually hurts to write that I've essentially given up on one my lifes major goals. As child I wanted to be many things like: the first ballerina cop, acrobat, nudist, "insert off the beaten path job here", etc. However, the only thing I've consistently wanted to be was fluent in Spanish. I technically began my Spanish language journey when my parents bought me a spanish language learning book and accompanying cassette when I was around 6.
I've flirted with Spanish for my entire life. I grew hearing it blasted from from car radios and, apartment windows. I even heard it and it's cousin "Spanglish" falling off my mothers lips. Spanish is the love of my life albeit an elusive one. It's like I'm in an arranged marriage with the English language and Spanish is my mistress. Sometimes our affair is hot and heavy and I think I'm going to leave my native tongue for it but... Spanish is too demanding. It requires too much effort and time. In addition, Spanish represents the unknown. It requires me to leave my comfort zone. Things aren't easy with Spanish therefore I always return to my first marriage. But things aren't easy at home either not before long I'm once again longing for the unknown. I long for the dream unrealized.
I know that if I'm ever to realize my life long dream one day I will have to commit. And when I make this commit it has to be for life. I can't have a fling with Spanish. I have proven that it will not get me where I need go.
I need to be consistent and diligent until I finally become one with the language and reach fluency. I also know that once I reach this level it won't be the end. I will need to maintain my connection and keep myself engaged for the rest of my life. Therefore today, right now, before the entire blogsphere I commitment to Spanish now and for the rest of my life. This means I will regularly speak, listen to, read and write in Spanish. Lucky for me English isn't a jealous lover. It will wait pateintly for it's turn to be used. :-)
Adiós
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